There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
