You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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