Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
