i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
