If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if i died would you start the facebook group?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize