At least make sure they are 18
Why
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
