i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
