It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
this will be a night to untag.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
