Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
