My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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