I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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