help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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