so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
