Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
