omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
