After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My vagina just clenched in fear
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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