He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
