I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
