At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
