would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
