I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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