Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
