I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize