I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
