I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
