Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so let's talk penis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
