Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
