so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
