PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Your penis caused this!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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