i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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