nut hugger
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
