He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
