i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
