The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
