I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This is my gift to your gina
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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