They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize