I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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