Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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