hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
