areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize