omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
