sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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