we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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