apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
