it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
