pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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