i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
