If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize