Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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