OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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