but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
