Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
