anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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