so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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