actually, I'm a sock model
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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