I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
