I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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