fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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