Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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