He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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