We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
