my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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